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i am mojo!

Mojo's SORRY I AIN'T POSTED day

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iam_mojo

Mojo's SORRY I AIN'T POSTED day

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Hai, my peeps! I has not posted for longtime. That is partly because I was on extended, two-week vacashun at teh CAT SPA where I is treated like a Prince and given the run of teh place, which is only appropriate. Once again I sent my diplomatick staff to Qba, once again they did v. poor job of intelligense gatherin except that they did bring back v. important classified information about rise of IGUaNA PARTY, an upstart group of scaly malcontents who may be considerin challengin my benevolent rule of one small island nation of 11,000,000 hoomans, 500,000 cats (estimate) and paltry few dozen iguanas. As per my estimations.

The confidential top-seekret intelligense files shows several of these idiotic reptiles-slash-dinosaurs with branes teh size of walnuts walking around being mysterious. I am putting my crack team of in-country operatives on the job survaylin survaillin watchen these inferior creetures. The files also include several hundred photografs of hoomans in states of little or no dress, and an unaccountable number of photos of my diplomatick staff smiling behind elaborate beverages. Their strategic value is zero. However expeck to see them soon on Wikileaks.

My diplomatick staff are clearly idiots and not to be trusted in a country where, according to their filed written reports, alcoholic beverages range in acquisition price from 1 convertible qban peso to "free".

Apparently I have ordered significant changes to teh economy of Qba, which I don't remember doin but I often don't remember doin things so I will take their word for it. My operatives tell me that reaction to these changes is mixed, which I blame on poor message control by stupid hooman diplomatick/communications staff.

I have been feelin a little punk lately so at my direction on Tuesday stupid incompetent diplomatick staff took me to see Dr. Debbie, world's greatest vet, where i deigned to aquiese to their request to sample some of my amazing tiger blood. I am assumin they want my DNA to create a master feline race and I am okay with that. I'm feelin quite a bit better tonight so may draft some policy positions for Qba. Must remember to note it in my Outlook calendar so I don't forget again.

yrs contemplatively,

mojo
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