You see we had teh FLOODS here last weekend. It was teh DISASTER and teh water was SO HI! Mom sed "Mojo I has lived here since nineteen ninety won and I has never seen nothing like this and ur dad remembers teh big flood of 73 and he says this is teh worst sinse!". It was teh CATASTROPHE! But she told me teh water wasn't goen to come into our House but it was in teh DOWNTOWN! Like, RIGHT IN TEH STREETS! And Dad and Mom had to work from home of wech between you and I, I did not obesrve Dad doen much work but Mom sed "Mojo even in teh DISASTER I is still writing these stoopy questons for Mane Estemates".
Anyway, then I saw on teh CEE BEE CEE that teh PRIME MINISTER came to New Brunsweck to look at teh flood! I said "Why did he come all teh way here to look at it Mom? Teh national news channels is playen teh pictures twenty-four-seven!". She said, "That is what teh leader of teh country does wen there is a disaster Mojo he or she visits and shows up and acts all leadery and makes people feel confedent that things will get better and teh government will help. Unless u is George Doubleyou Bush in wech case you flies over and hides in ur plane from ur people. But that's another story."
Well that got my atenshun I tell you what, it was v. clear to me that COMMANDANTE EN JEFE OF CUBA, COMPADRE MOJO should immediatley tour the flooding of my home&original provense of New Brunsweck and act very leadery and let teh people know that even now that I am supreme leader of QBA, I am still here as a calming influence and example of courage in the fase of adversety.
I was well in teh middle of plannen my royal tour wen my unconshionsably MEAN Mom and Dad put teh kibosh on teh whole plan. Dad sed "Are u kidden bud, that water is toadally contaminated and u is not getten anyware near it." Wen I pointed out that teh Prime Minister got near it even though it was contaminated Mom said, "Who has the capacity to contaminate who in that situation is an open questoin so it's different." Then they toadally refused to book teh helicopter or teh limo or send out teh press release. They are teh WORST STAFF EVER! I hope I has much more efficient staff wen I moves to Cuba to take over full time.I bet that whole plase runs like teh well-oiled machine day and nite.
yrs frustratedly (but leaderly)